Most of us have people in our relationship world that are pretty easy to love. We enjoy spending time with them and they enjoy our company. We are rewarded emotionally when we serving them. We often think like them and have similar values. It doesn’t take much to love them. There is very little emotional displacement in our lives. If every connection in our relationship world were this kind of connection life would be less stressful. Convenient would describe these relationships.
On the other hand, we all have people in our relationship world that are more difficult to love. Spending time in these relationships is draining. Serving them takes an emotional toll on us. They make think different than us. They may have different values. Loving in these connects displaces huge amounts of emotion. The love needed in these relationships could be described as inconvenient.
Jesus talked about convenient and inconvenient love.
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:46-48 (NIV)
Jesus’ idea of being perfect is not what most of us think. Being perfect is often thought of as ‘moral’ perfection. Living an upright life is important. Living an upright life is desirable. Being perfect though is about loving when it is inconvenient to love. Jesus said that loving only when it is convenient ultimately has no reward.
Truly loving happens when we allow the emotional displacement and allow our lives to be inconvenienced for the benefit and welfare of others. Truly loving is when time is displaced, money is displaced, and emotions are displaced.
Love is really only love, not when it is convenient, but when it is inconvenient.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
What Kind of Shadow does Your Character Cast?
If you follow the news even a little bit you are aware that this week has given us a semester’s worth of lessons on what it looks like to be lacking in CHARACTER.
• The head of the International Monetary Fund, and the man likely to have become the next President of France, was arrested for inappropriate actions towards a hotel worker.
• Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed a child that was born to a domestic worker over a decade ago. His marriage is over.
• For $200 a British woman lied about having injected her 8 year old daughter with Botox. The story made international news.
• 2004 Olympic Gold Medal cyclist, Tyler Hamilton, returned his Gold Medal, having admitted that he had been using performance enhancing drugs.
It is easy to pick out character deficiencies in others – but what about in my own life? Seeing, or not seeing, character deficiencies in my own life is like looking at my own hairdo in the mirror. At best I only partially know what my hairdo looks like. I only see a portion of my hairdo unless I use two or three mirrors – I can’t see it all. The front of my hair can be pristine while the back of my head looks like it was hit by a storm.
‘Character’ is very similar. The temptation is to look as good as we can to people. From the front the character looks good. From the side things don’t look so good. From the back the response is “Wow!” “I didn’t see that coming!”
The US Air Force defines character a, "Qualities of moral excellence which compel a person to do the right things despite pressure or temptations to the contrary."
Character is described as a ‘complex mix of attributes that make-up and determine a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions.’
President Abraham Lincoln said character is the tree and reputation is the shadow.
What does your character really look like? What kind of shadow does your character cast?
Jesus, develop the righteous character produced by Jesus Christ! (Philippians 1:11)
• The head of the International Monetary Fund, and the man likely to have become the next President of France, was arrested for inappropriate actions towards a hotel worker.
• Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed a child that was born to a domestic worker over a decade ago. His marriage is over.
• For $200 a British woman lied about having injected her 8 year old daughter with Botox. The story made international news.
• 2004 Olympic Gold Medal cyclist, Tyler Hamilton, returned his Gold Medal, having admitted that he had been using performance enhancing drugs.
It is easy to pick out character deficiencies in others – but what about in my own life? Seeing, or not seeing, character deficiencies in my own life is like looking at my own hairdo in the mirror. At best I only partially know what my hairdo looks like. I only see a portion of my hairdo unless I use two or three mirrors – I can’t see it all. The front of my hair can be pristine while the back of my head looks like it was hit by a storm.
‘Character’ is very similar. The temptation is to look as good as we can to people. From the front the character looks good. From the side things don’t look so good. From the back the response is “Wow!” “I didn’t see that coming!”
The US Air Force defines character a, "Qualities of moral excellence which compel a person to do the right things despite pressure or temptations to the contrary."
Character is described as a ‘complex mix of attributes that make-up and determine a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions.’
President Abraham Lincoln said character is the tree and reputation is the shadow.
What does your character really look like? What kind of shadow does your character cast?
Jesus, develop the righteous character produced by Jesus Christ! (Philippians 1:11)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
The Lions are Hunting
I have been in a number of conversations over the last few weeks where the discussion has been about the craziness of the world we are living in.
The pressures that people are feeling right now from the world situation, the national situation and the economic situation are significant and are taking their toll on people.
I wish that was all that was happening though! It is not.
•Parents are struggling with the pressures their children are under.
•Married couples are struggling to keep their relationships together and growing.
•Pornography is damaging men and women, married and single, young and old.
•Singles are struggling with loneliness and the pressures of a promiscuous culture.
Everything that is happening reminds me of a verse written by the Apostle Peter:
Control yourselves. Be on your guard. Your enemy the devil is like a roaring lion. He prowls around looking for someone to chew up and swallow. (1 Peter 5:8 NIrV)
It is interesting that Peter uses a lion as a picture of the attacker. Lions are great hunters. There are some interesting facts that make the picture of a lion especially apropos to the struggles of life.
Lions are not the fastest of animals. They are actually slower than most of the prey they eat. They are sneaky though. They will sneak up on a ‘wildebeest’ and then pounce in a final burst of speed. They are also experts at waiting until the prey needs something like water or shade and then hunting them in their moment of need. They also rely on the forgetfulness of the prey. It is not unusual for a herd of ‘gazelle’ to be chased and one to be caught and eaten while the rest of the herd goes back to business as usual. Within a short time the whole episode starts again as if the herd of ‘gazelle’ were taken by surprise. Lions also hunt in a group. The prey gets distracted by one lion, only to be caught by another.
Control yourselves. Be on your guard. Don’t be snuck up on. Be ready when you have a need. Don’t forget how the enemy works – he’s relying on a person’s forgetfulness! Be on your guard when the lion is trying to get you in one area another lion might strike!
The pressures that people are feeling right now from the world situation, the national situation and the economic situation are significant and are taking their toll on people.
I wish that was all that was happening though! It is not.
•Parents are struggling with the pressures their children are under.
•Married couples are struggling to keep their relationships together and growing.
•Pornography is damaging men and women, married and single, young and old.
•Singles are struggling with loneliness and the pressures of a promiscuous culture.
Everything that is happening reminds me of a verse written by the Apostle Peter:
Control yourselves. Be on your guard. Your enemy the devil is like a roaring lion. He prowls around looking for someone to chew up and swallow. (1 Peter 5:8 NIrV)
It is interesting that Peter uses a lion as a picture of the attacker. Lions are great hunters. There are some interesting facts that make the picture of a lion especially apropos to the struggles of life.
Lions are not the fastest of animals. They are actually slower than most of the prey they eat. They are sneaky though. They will sneak up on a ‘wildebeest’ and then pounce in a final burst of speed. They are also experts at waiting until the prey needs something like water or shade and then hunting them in their moment of need. They also rely on the forgetfulness of the prey. It is not unusual for a herd of ‘gazelle’ to be chased and one to be caught and eaten while the rest of the herd goes back to business as usual. Within a short time the whole episode starts again as if the herd of ‘gazelle’ were taken by surprise. Lions also hunt in a group. The prey gets distracted by one lion, only to be caught by another.
Control yourselves. Be on your guard. Don’t be snuck up on. Be ready when you have a need. Don’t forget how the enemy works – he’s relying on a person’s forgetfulness! Be on your guard when the lion is trying to get you in one area another lion might strike!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Don’t Wait – Start the Change Today!
Just recently I heard someone say that people change for three reasons:
1. When they hurt enough that they have to change something.
2. When they learn enough that they want to change something.
3. When they receive enough that they are able to change something.
Why? Why does it have to be that way?
It is unfortunate that we humans find it so hard to break out of habits and patterns that keep us stuck where we are. It would be best if, when we hurt a little, we would change. It would be best if, when we learn a little, we would change. It would be best if, when we receive a little, we would change. Unfortunately that is not the way it is.
We are slow to change and often require lots of hurt before even attempting to change. John Maxwell says it this way: “People change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.” Couldn’t we change a little quicker?
My encouragement to you would be to start today. Don’t wait for more pain. Don’t wait for more learning. Don’t wait until you think that you have enough to be able to change. Start the change now.
Pray for change. Pray some more for change. Pray for you to change. Pray for wisdom to change. Pray for the strength to change. Pray for the courage to change. Make a plan.
Don’t wait for more pain. Don’t wait for more learning. Don’t wait for more tools. Start today!
1. When they hurt enough that they have to change something.
2. When they learn enough that they want to change something.
3. When they receive enough that they are able to change something.
Why? Why does it have to be that way?
It is unfortunate that we humans find it so hard to break out of habits and patterns that keep us stuck where we are. It would be best if, when we hurt a little, we would change. It would be best if, when we learn a little, we would change. It would be best if, when we receive a little, we would change. Unfortunately that is not the way it is.
We are slow to change and often require lots of hurt before even attempting to change. John Maxwell says it this way: “People change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.” Couldn’t we change a little quicker?
My encouragement to you would be to start today. Don’t wait for more pain. Don’t wait for more learning. Don’t wait until you think that you have enough to be able to change. Start the change now.
Pray for change. Pray some more for change. Pray for you to change. Pray for wisdom to change. Pray for the strength to change. Pray for the courage to change. Make a plan.
Don’t wait for more pain. Don’t wait for more learning. Don’t wait for more tools. Start today!
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