Perception, Reality and the Truth

Earlier this week I heard someone say, “the first casualty of the continual spiritual battle between good and evil, light and dark, God and the Devil is truth.” I can’t get that idea out of my mind. The Apostle Paul wrote, “We battle not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces.” (Ephesians 6) The battle is real, but it is not what we usually think it is. The battle is a battle for truth and the truth. When an angry confrontation occurs, it is not just a battle of wills; it is a battle for truth. It’s possible that I’m angry because I believe something that is not true. It’s possible that the other person is angry because they believe something that is not true. Most likely, we both believe things that are not true. The untruth, deception, or distortion we believe leads us to take up an adversarial position. In an angry moment, the appropriate response is to check the story I’m telling myself. Do I have the right story or do I have something out of place. I need to check the story I’m believing before I worry about the story the other person is telling themselves. Often, we’ve told ourselves stories about situations and people that were distorted, imagined or simply not true. The battle is not with the other person. The battle is about perception, reality and truth. None of us can compromise the truth. We can’t back down, give in, or to surrender lies. Jesus’ brother Jude encouraged the early believers to “defend the faith.” “Dear friends, … now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to his holy people. I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives.” Jude 1:3-4 (NLT) Jude’s words illustrate that the battle for moral purity and integrity is not a battle against flesh and blood but for truth. Stick up for the truth, don’t back down, and don’t give in. Stand firm in the faith. BUT IN EVERY INTERACTION, RESPOND WITH KINDNESS! We can “defend the faith” and stick up for truth without being ugly or unkind! That’s the Jesus way.

From Anxiety and Fear to Peace and Courage

Recently, a panel of medical experts recommended that all adults under 65 be screened for anxiety. The current state of mental and emotional health alarms medical and mental health experts. Troubling mental and emotional health is being played out in alcohol and substance abuse, domestic violence, and suicide. It’s not news to any of us that anxiety and fear are affecting the health of every segment of society. Dr. Jim Denison describes 2020 this way. The year 2020 “began like 1973 with impeachment, then became 1918 with a pandemic, followed by 2008 with the recession, followed by 1968 with nationwide civil unrest.” I would add a hyper polarized election cycle to the mix. Everything seems unstable and unpredictable. People are constantly thrown off balance by the shifting ground. Not only is the ground shifting, but there is little around to grab hold of. Uncertainty, tension, and fluidity of life fuels anxiety and fear. Fear and anxiety effects everyone’s sense of happiness and for most people, happiness is the top value in their lives. After all, everyone wants to be happy. Michael Horton has insightfully described the wrestle with anxiety and fear when he writes: “Perhaps all of our anxieties can be reduced to the fear of being unhappy.” Many people are not just unhappy, but they are afraid of being unhappy. Followers of Jesus do not need to live under the cloud of anxiety and fear. Jesus has called his followers out of anxiety and fear into peace and courage! Let these verses find root in your soul. Scriptures like these, when they find root, combat anxiety and fear. “The LORD is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?” Psalms 27:1 (NLT) “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) “Don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:31-34 (NLT) I encourage you to read and meditate on these verses over and over throughout the days ahead. These truths will nourish and transform you.

Managing Expectations

I don’t know if you’ve given much thought to the idea of expectations. I’ve thought a lot about the idea. One of the takeaways from my thinking and studying expectations is that how a person manages their own expectations and how they respond to the expectations of others is key to being a healthy person and having healthy relationships. The actor Antonio Banderas expressed the irritation of expectations when he said, “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.” Similarly, Derek Harvey said, “Unmet expectations are a deadly venom that flows to the heart and wreaks havoc in relationships.” Most often we become aware of expectations because of the emotion or conflict that happens when someone or something fails us, or we fail others. Someone stated the frustration, disappointment and hurt surrounding expectations this way: EXPECTATION - REALITY = FRUSTRATION We’ve all experienced “FRUSTRATION” because of the difference between EXPECTATIONS and REALITY The greater the difference between expectation and reality, the greater the frustration. We expected them to do X, Y AND Z but instead they did A, B AND C. We are disappointed by their A, B AND C. They expected us to do A, B AND C, but instead we did X, Y AND Z. They’re disappointed by our X, Y AND Z. When confronted with the “frustration” of unmet expectations there are a set of questions I try to ask myself. Was it realistic for me to expect X, Y AND Z? Did I communicate my expectation for X, Y AND Z? Did I understand their expectation for A, B AND C? If I understood, was their expectation realistic? If, in my estimation, the expectation was unrealistic, did I communicate that with them. I try hard to process my expectations, my communication of expectations and my responses to known expectations before I jump on the other person. I try … : ) “Why worry about the speck in your friend’s eye, when you have a log in your own? … First get rid of the log in your own eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 (NLT) Jesus said it, check your own expectations before you judge other people’s expectations.

"Comparison is the Thief of Joy"

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you...” 1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NIV) Paul’s instructions are contrary to the push of our society. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life” seems like an oxymoron! Ambition and a quiet life don't seem to go together. Society encourages people to have “ambition,” and lots of it. There is little encouragement “to lead a quiet life.” Someone with an ambition to lead a quiet life could be judged a failure. The messages we hear loudest and most often are: Make it your ambition to be famous, rich, powerful, and happy. Make it your ambition to be educated, and better than everyone else. Make it your ambition to be skinny, beautiful, fit, or strong. “Mind your own business” is also contrary to the common practice of most. Society’s expectation is that people “be in the know”. Stick your nose into other people’s business. Make sure you know what they’re up to. Pursuing the ambitions of our current culture creates a life of comparison. But comparison is almost always detrimental to a person’s mental and emotional health. Max Ehrmann cautioned against comparison when he wrote: “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” President Teddy Roosevelt observed that “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Teddy Roosevelt and Jon Tyson determined that “Comparison is the root of most of the misery we feel in life.” Comparison dissolves when Jesus’ followers obey Paul’s directive to make it their ambition to “lead a quiet life” and to “mind their own business.” (I guess people would still find a way to compare who had a quieter life and that would spoil the ambition!) Don’t compare yourself to others. It is detrimental to your mental and emotional health. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, mind your own business and work with your hands.” God smiles at people whose ambition is to live a quiet life, mind their own business, and do what they’re given to do. Make this kind of life your ambition.