Managing Expectations

I don’t know if you’ve given much thought to the idea of expectations. I’ve thought a lot about the idea. One of the takeaways from my thinking and studying expectations is that how a person manages their own expectations and how they respond to the expectations of others is key to being a healthy person and having healthy relationships. The actor Antonio Banderas expressed the irritation of expectations when he said, “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.” Similarly, Derek Harvey said, “Unmet expectations are a deadly venom that flows to the heart and wreaks havoc in relationships.” Most often we become aware of expectations because of the emotion or conflict that happens when someone or something fails us, or we fail others. Someone stated the frustration, disappointment and hurt surrounding expectations this way: EXPECTATION - REALITY = FRUSTRATION We’ve all experienced “FRUSTRATION” because of the difference between EXPECTATIONS and REALITY The greater the difference between expectation and reality, the greater the frustration. We expected them to do X, Y AND Z but instead they did A, B AND C. We are disappointed by their A, B AND C. They expected us to do A, B AND C, but instead we did X, Y AND Z. They’re disappointed by our X, Y AND Z. When confronted with the “frustration” of unmet expectations there are a set of questions I try to ask myself. Was it realistic for me to expect X, Y AND Z? Did I communicate my expectation for X, Y AND Z? Did I understand their expectation for A, B AND C? If I understood, was their expectation realistic? If, in my estimation, the expectation was unrealistic, did I communicate that with them. I try hard to process my expectations, my communication of expectations and my responses to known expectations before I jump on the other person. I try … : ) “Why worry about the speck in your friend’s eye, when you have a log in your own? … First get rid of the log in your own eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 (NLT) Jesus said it, check your own expectations before you judge other people’s expectations.