What Is The Loving Thing To Do?

“Affirm” and “Cancel” are two words used in the cultural lingo of the day. We’ve all witnessed the way these two ideas have played out. I’ve been chewing on the idea that neither of these words and what they represent in culture are inline with the life that Jesus asks His followers to live. This week I'm addressing "Affirm." Next week I'll address "Cancel." Think about the two words and their interplay. If a man declares that he is actually not a man but a cat, culture expects a “loving” person to affirm them without reservation or question. When doesn’t affirm them as a cat, the person is viewed as “unloving” and in many situations is “canceled.” The reason behind the declaration is that the man doesn’t correspond with the features, nature and biological reality of a cat. The man declares he is a cat and expects affirmation because it is obvious he is not a cat. If he were obviously a cat, he wouldn’t need to tell anyone he’s a cat. Anyone who has tried to talk someone out of suicide has been loving by NOT AFFIRMING the suicidal ideation. Affirming the idea of suicide would assist the person in taking their life. Love, in that situation, for the person and their extended community, is to do everything possible to prevent suicide. This is true when of destructive behaviors and choices. The loving thing is usually NOT AFFIRMING the ideas, behavior, or choices. The loving action is to speak truth, confront wrong thinking, and prevent when possible destructive choices. The way of Jesus is to affirm people made in the image of God. Jesus’ way is to affirm they have purpose and destiny. Affirming a person is not the same as affirming their ideas, attitudes, behaviors, and choices. There are countless examples in the accounts of the life of Jesus when he confronted, challenged, and talked people out of destructive patterns. The woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the “Rich Young Ruler” and Zacheus are a few examples. To the woman guilty of adultery, Jesus said, “Go and sin no more.” He didn’t affirm her sin. He called her to change and to reverse the course of her life. Loving is, at times, “NOT AFFIRMING.” Rejecting a person’s thinking, attitudes, choices, and behavior is not the same as rejecting the person. Don’t buy into the growing idea that love and affirmation are the synonymous. They are not synonymous unless they are synonymous. Be a truth teller. Affirm people not faulty and unhealthy thinking, attitudes and choices. The Apostle Paul said, “Love rejoices over the truth.” Remember, truth always corresponds with reality.

Listen

Jesus assigned the early church the mission of making disciples. He said, “Go into all the world and make disciples.” Jesus’s “Great Commission” can be understood to mean, “as you are going about life, make disciples.” Making disciples is the assignment of every Jesus follower. He intends that EVERY follower would talk about His work in their life when they are with their families, around the fire warming themselves, at the market, cleaning fish or selling their wares. Telling others about Jesus’ work should be part of the everyday flow of life. Imagine someone shares a struggle they are going through and as you listen to their words, heart, and frustrations, an opportunity presents itself for you to share how Jesus brought peace and wisdom to your own struggle. Listening is one of the greatest gifts a person can give to another. Listening does not come naturally to most of us. Listening is not the same thing as not talking. Listening is engaging the ears, heart, and brain. Listening takes work. Listening takes self-denial and a serving heart. Next time you are in a conversation, listen. Listen to the other person’s words, hurts, frustrations, and insecurities. When you listen, you send the message that you care. After you’ve listened, ask questions, and then listen some more. You will be surprised at the opportunities Jesus will create for you to share about how he’s worked in your life! The Apostle Peter told the first century disciples, “if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way.” 1 Peter 3:15-16 (NLT) Pray that Jesus will teach you to be sensitive to the people he brings across your path. Listen to their story. Ask questions. When approappropriate, about Jesus’ impact, help and work in your own journey.

Hope in Chaos

Nearly 60 years ago, Bob Dylan released the song “The Times They are a-Changin” on an album by the same name. Bands and artists such as Burl Ives, Billy Joel and Simon & Garfunkel have covered the song. In 2004, Rolling Stones listed the song as number 59 in the “500 Greatest Songs of All Time.” Dylan wrote the song as describing the turmoil of the early 1960s. 60 years later, we are in a significant time of turmoil. Yesterday September 11, was the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack. The anniversary of the unforgettable events of that day falls amid chaos in every community in America. The chaos our world faces is too vast to describe. The turmoil springs up in political, racial, religious, regional, medical, friends, work, families and finances. The turmoil has turned friends into foes, divided families, churches, businesses, schools, and nearly every community group. As a follower of Jesus, I find peace, assurance, and confidence anchored to Him. In the ancient letter of Hebrews, the author describes Jesus as “the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) God spoke through the Old Testament prophet Malachi saying, “I am the Lord, I do not change.” (Malachi 3:6) If “the times were a-changin” 60 years ago, the speed, nature, and breadth of change today in exponential in comparison. Weekly something new arises to challenge existing structures, forms and sensibilities. The nature and speed of the changes raises the stress level in almost every one of every age. The follower of Jesus need not lose hope, stability, or their footing. God neither “sleeps nor slumbers.” (Psalm 121:4) God doesn’t change. (Malachi 3:6) Jesus is the same today as he was 2,000 years ago will be 2,000 years from now. “The Times They are a-Changin” but Jesus is “a-samin!” You can trust in him!

Doing Life In My Own Strength

I have been reading through the Bible this year from the New Century Version (NCV). King Jehoshaphat appointed Levites, priests, and leaders of Israelite families to be judges. They were to settle problems between people who lived in Jerusalem. They were to serve as arbitrators and judges to settle disputes and conflicts. The king commanded the “judges,” “You must always serve the Lord completely, and you must fear him.” The king also commanded the judges, “Watch what you do, because you are not judging for people but for the Lord. He will be with you when you make a decision. Now let each of you fear the Lord. Watch what you do, because the Lord our God wants people to be fair. He wants all people to be treated the same, and he doesn’t want decisions influenced by money.” The king’s commands to the “judges” challenged me. I was challenged and reminded of the need each of us has for a Savior. I like to think that I “fear the Lord,” and I am “fair,” and “treat all people the same,” and I don’t let decisions about people and relationships to be “influenced by money.” But I know me! I can’t faithfully live out my role as a leader, without a Savior. I am prone to fear people and situations instead of fearing the Lord. I often fail to be “fair” and “treat all people the same,” and I have allowed money to influence decisions about people and relationships. I am prone to failure in each of those categories. My “prone” to failure nature is why I need a Savior. I need Jesus to save me and others from me, just as much today as I did 40 years ago when I first walked with Jesus. I need His forgiveness, power, grace, direction, and correction. It is only when His power and life are flowing in me, I can faithfully lead. I bet you have similar feelings and experiences. When you are leading in your strength, things are rough. When you are leading your family, a team at work, a community group or a local sports team, with Jesus’ strength, wisdom and grace flowing through you, leading is different and results are different. Jesus, teach me/us to lead in your power, life and strength. Remind me regularly – “Don’t do life alone, do it with ME!”