What Is The Loving Thing To Do?

“Affirm” and “Cancel” are two words used in the cultural lingo of the day. We’ve all witnessed the way these two ideas have played out. I’ve been chewing on the idea that neither of these words and what they represent in culture are inline with the life that Jesus asks His followers to live. This week I'm addressing "Affirm." Next week I'll address "Cancel." Think about the two words and their interplay. If a man declares that he is actually not a man but a cat, culture expects a “loving” person to affirm them without reservation or question. When doesn’t affirm them as a cat, the person is viewed as “unloving” and in many situations is “canceled.” The reason behind the declaration is that the man doesn’t correspond with the features, nature and biological reality of a cat. The man declares he is a cat and expects affirmation because it is obvious he is not a cat. If he were obviously a cat, he wouldn’t need to tell anyone he’s a cat. Anyone who has tried to talk someone out of suicide has been loving by NOT AFFIRMING the suicidal ideation. Affirming the idea of suicide would assist the person in taking their life. Love, in that situation, for the person and their extended community, is to do everything possible to prevent suicide. This is true when of destructive behaviors and choices. The loving thing is usually NOT AFFIRMING the ideas, behavior, or choices. The loving action is to speak truth, confront wrong thinking, and prevent when possible destructive choices. The way of Jesus is to affirm people made in the image of God. Jesus’ way is to affirm they have purpose and destiny. Affirming a person is not the same as affirming their ideas, attitudes, behaviors, and choices. There are countless examples in the accounts of the life of Jesus when he confronted, challenged, and talked people out of destructive patterns. The woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the “Rich Young Ruler” and Zacheus are a few examples. To the woman guilty of adultery, Jesus said, “Go and sin no more.” He didn’t affirm her sin. He called her to change and to reverse the course of her life. Loving is, at times, “NOT AFFIRMING.” Rejecting a person’s thinking, attitudes, choices, and behavior is not the same as rejecting the person. Don’t buy into the growing idea that love and affirmation are the synonymous. They are not synonymous unless they are synonymous. Be a truth teller. Affirm people not faulty and unhealthy thinking, attitudes and choices. The Apostle Paul said, “Love rejoices over the truth.” Remember, truth always corresponds with reality.